57/365 : Money!

I skipped around the apartment and yelled MONEY! after finding my check from the temp agency in the mail. It's barely enough to cover two modest bills, but still. MONEY!!

56/365 : Green

I love this shampoo - a very refreshing start to the day. Thanks, Tom! Now if only I had a coffee pot, a casualty from boxes we shipped during the move.

55/365 : Good day

I had a very productive day at work, including a stroll through this park at lunch.

Maybe this is a sign for blue skies ahead.

54/365 : Escape

Or nostalgia?

53/365 : Pride

Dustin Lance Black's Oscar acceptance speech for Milk's screenplay was worth watching four hours of cheese and awkwardness. His words of hope brought tears to my eyes.

Oh my God. This was, um, this was not an easy film to make. First off, I have to thank Cleve Jones and Anne Kronenberg and all the real-life people who shared their stories with me. And, um, Gus Van Sant, Sean Penn, Emile Hirsch, Josh Brolin, James Franco and our entire cast, my producers Dan Jinks and Bruce Cohen, everyone at Groundswell and Focus for taking on the challenge of telling this life-saving story. When I was 13 years old, my beautiful mother and my father moved me from a conservative Mormon home in San Antonio, Texas to California, and I heard the story of Harvey Milk. And it gave me hope. It gave me the hope to live my life. It gave me the hope one day I could live my life openly as who I am and then maybe even I could even fall in love and one day get married.

I wanna thank my mom, who has always loved me for who I am even when there was pressure not to. But most of all, if Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he'd want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are less than by their churches, by the government or by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value and that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you and that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights federally, across this great nation of ours. Thank you. Thank you. And thank you, God, for giving us Harvey Milk.

~ Dustin Lance Black, Best Original Screenplay Acceptance Speech, Oscars 2/22/09

52/365 : Life lately

It has been a VERY uninspired week.

51/365 : Mohawk

Sid and his mouse - BFFs.

50/365 : Daylight

I started a part-time temp job today in the Fillmore. The area is beautiful - with gorgeous homes, rolling hills and delicious restaurants. I am essentially a personal/executive assistant, managing bookkeeping and the household. The best part is I am NOT on call 24/7 and don't have to drive for errands.

I was really anxious this morning about returning to work. Would my employer like me? Would I succeed? Most importantly - would I survive my first full work day since December? Yes, yes and yes. He wants me to come back tomorrow for more office tasks, and he seemed very pleased with what I completed today. The morning was rough - getting used to a new environment - but by lunch I was happy to be back in the workforce and out of the house. Of course I was tuckered out by 5:00.

I have a few more part-time opportunities in the blender, so I will probably work a few jobs until I find full-time employment. I feel like this recent position has given me a second wind - at least I have a few bucks coming in to get me out of the red. A lot hangs on tomorrow - fingers and toes crossed! But I have new and improved cover letters and resumes for applications this weekend. All I can do is keep on keeping on.

49/365 : Kisses

Getting love from Ashmont.

48/365 : Dee-troit

Andy's modified (more awesome) Detroit Tigers hat.

47/365 : Flash in the pan

I have a thing for reflections. Does that make me vain?

46/365 : Fortune

And take it one day at a time.

45/365 : Valentine

I was taking a vain shot of my Valentine's Day ensemble, when Andy invaded the shot with a surprise shoulder kiss.

Unemployment left a dark cloud over most of our weekend, but we managed to have a nice Valentine's Day. I made a delicious dinner - paprika shrimp and garlic string beans topped off with champagne and Dove chocolates. We watched Fargo (how romantic) and pre-gamed with Tom and Darrell before heading out to see Juan Atkins spin at the Paradise Lounge.

Except it was a disco night and the airport lost most of Juan Atkin's records. So much for a very techno Valentine's Day. We left after two hours and spent the rest of the night watching YouTube videos and drinking beers. Overall, the evening was a fun escape with music, friends and booze - not very romantic, but love is always in the air. We don't need a special day.

44/365 : Road to Nowhere

Well we know where we're going,
But we don't know where we've been.
And we know what we're knowing.
But we can't say what we've seen.
And we're not little children.
And we know what we want,
And the future is certain,
Give us time to work it out.

We're on a road to nowhere,
Come on inside.
Taking that ride to nowhere,
Well take that ride.

I'm feeling okay this morning.
And you know,
We're on the road to paradise.
Here we go, here we go.

Maybe you wonder where you are.
I don't care.
Here is where time is on our side.
Take you there...take you there.

We're on a road to nowhere.
We're on a road to nowhere.
We're on a road to nowhere.

There's a city in my mind.
Come along and take that ride.
And it's all right, baby, it's all right.

And it's very far away,
But it's growing day by day.
And it's all right, baby, it's all right.
~ Talking Heads

43/365 : Family II

When things get rough - almost daily now - I remind myself how lucky I am to have this guy and these kids.

42/365 : Misery loves company

Andy had one too.

41/365 : The dark side of unemployment.

Today I had to drown my sorrows in something completely different. VOILA - fast food! Jack In The Box > McDonalds. The meal was delicious and promptly followed by a nap.

Yes, I am eating meat again. I had no choice on the road trip, otherwise it was french fries 3 times a day for one week. I am mostly vegetarian now, only eating chicken or red meat a few times a month. I don't feel guilty - I love food and deserve a good steak once in a while.

40/365 : 1979

Much cooler than my night lights as a kid.

39/365 : Old man Yoda

A very nice security guard allowed us to park and take pictures by the Yoda statue in front of LucasArts in the Presidio.

38/365 : Home

Like good hosts, we took Pat to a beautiful lookout of the city. My favorite detail in this shot is the shadow of the bridge on the water.

37/365 : Family

Last week was absolutely crummy. By Thursday, I was ready to call it quits. Armed with a cheap bottle of wine and Doritos, I parked my ass in front of the television for the night.

I slept in Friday and woke up with a massive wine headache. While Andy was out at a job interview, I bummed around the apartment and browsed the job boards. Ho-hum. When Andy came home, he insisted I check out a passive aggressive note in the back stairwell.

I protested, exclaiming I am still in my PJs, but he insisted. See, someone left a jug of spilled orange juice downstairs and the tenants in our building love the written word. So, I open the door and who do I see, but my brother Pat standing there! I promptly slammed the door in his face, processed the situation, opened the door and gave him a big bear hug.

With the help of Alison, Tom, Darrell and Pat's girlfriend Sarah, Andy organized the secret visit as a present for me. I feel so blessed to have such a loving husband, friends and family. The weekend was a blast and a beautiful vacation from reality.

36/365 : Parisian dreams

36/365 : Parisian dreams
Originally uploaded by mandy kaotik

The bedroom is my favorite room in the new apartment - french doors, rich leafy curtains, hawaiian comforter and now, dreamy art.

35/365 : Anticipation

35/365 : Anticipation
Originally uploaded by mandy kaotik

Please keep your fingers and toes crossed!

Too bad I didn't have a red pen for this shot.

34/365 : Underground

34/365 : Underground
Originally uploaded by mandy kaotik

I wish there was a REMOVE CAT HAIR option in iPhoto.

I am heading out with friends tonight to see Derek Plaslaiko. Even though I am still unemployed and miss my friends and family in Boston, the electronic music scene in San Francisco has made the transition 100x easier. Dancing the night away is not only fun, but cleansing.

33/365 : Reflection

33/365 : Reflection
Originally uploaded by mandy kaotik

This was another experiment with light - another subpar picture. But it was a success in that I had fun taking shots and exploring depth.

Life is extreme up and downs, and today was a serious downer. Our lives hang in limbo, we're running out of money and I am trying not to panic.

32/365 : Pesto

32/365 : Pesto
Originally uploaded by mandy kaotik

For this project, I originally vowed to avoid taking pictures of the cats, because that's the easy way out. But I was sitting on the futon with my camera, trying to think of a photo subject, when Pesto rolled over and looked up at me from the floor. Come on - she was working it!

Since Andy and I moved the boxes to one corner of the living room, the cats have been sleeping on the on the empty floor. I think they are politely requesting a real sofa. I hear them on that.

31/365 : My Pumas

31/365 : My Pumas
Originally uploaded by mandy kaotik

Check out my sneakers after a night out dancing to techno. I went to the Endup for the third time since moving here and decided it's time to resurrect my music blog PEPPERJACKED. The site is under construction, but stay tuned for the re-launch.