I turned 27 last weekend. To celebrate, I gathered friends for The Beatles Rock Band then a night of dancing at the Endup. I called the evening a Virgo party, not feeling the personal birthday vibes this year, but wanting to celebrate the wonderful people, new & old, in my life. The night was a blast. I drank much yager, passed out earlier than I would have liked, but still, an epic evening was had.
The next day, my actual birthday, I felt strange - lonely, unhappy, just generally sad. I went to a Sunset party in Marin, but even amongst friends and gorgeous surroundings and music, I sensed a gray cloud. It has been a difficult year and if I learned anything while 26, it's that I can never admit sadness.
Most people celebrate their new years in January, but for me, the beginning and end is the fall. It is in September, that I stop and think. And so, twelve months of struggling and fear bubbled up, over and out. I cried and I remembered.
That very night I also came down with a nasty cold, one that would take a week for me to recover. Days of rest and introspection, days of talks both serious and silly. And so begins my new year. With a cleansing.
27 is the lucky one, right?
2 comments:
i think it's very appropriate to start the new year in the fall. although, out here it's not quite as vibrant. this is supposed to be a good leaf year and i'm missing ne very much.
i do the same thing, by the way. bottle it all up and then when i finally let it go, i get sick. guess it's my body's way of succumbing to start fresh. good luck with 27. :O)
I do miss the fall - it was always my favorite season. But at least we have a slight chill and crisp air, which I love in the morning :)
I am trying to be better about bottling up emotions, but considering this is a 10+ year habit...
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